Barbara Edelston Peterson is an award-winning athlete, an author, a designer and a mother, exceeding expectations for what motherhood should look like by being successful in multiple areas of her life. She is the founder of the Power of Exercise, a multi-faceted approach to fitness and personal growth, and the designer at Foreste and Hils, making wearable art.

Graduating in 1984 with a Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology, Barbara utilizes her degree to help people the world over find their inner strength and serenity, with a focus on the benefits of exercising. She practices sports psychology, acts as a motivational speaker, and is the author of multiple books relating to health and well-being.

With a first place title in the XTERRA World Championships for 2011 while in her fifties, Barbara continually proves that being fit and happy is achievable and accessible for anyone. She lives in Berkeley, California, with her husband and two school-aged daughters.

Notable Achievements:

-LuluLemon Athletica Berkeley Run Ambassador 2012

-Co-Founder/spokesperson XTERRA ECO TEAM
-XTERRA USA and European Ambassador
-Award: Ms. Xterra 2003

—-

http://longtrailahead.blogspot.com/2011/11/maui-moments-2.html

Continuing on with activities at the post race awards dinner, I found myself to be quite entertained by some of the emotions and celebrations, by many of the racers who paid visit to the podium atop the stage. As they started presenting winners, beginning from the oldest first and unto the youngest, I couldn’t help but marvel at the athletic achievements regarding many of the older competitors, that they had put forth during the race. I was just in awe of the overall times some of them had put in, on the very same course that I had competed on. Incredibly amazing. When they moved to announce the winners in the 55-59 age division, I was completely blown away at the news that a good personal friend, had claimed the division title this year. Barbara Peterson of Berkeley, California, has been in this same spot before, as a matter of fact, she has been the recipient of being a world champion five times before. Certainly no stranger to winning. This 2011 win though was different, different in so may ways I thought.

Sitting at my table, I watched as Barbara exalted in emotional bliss at her own victory. It was a special one after all, with events leading up to this moment, warranting such celebratory release. Watching her from afar, I felt that even she knew it herself. She had come a long way. You see, this same time just a year ago, Barbara was facing an uncertain future in regards to pursuing her love for athletics. An unfortunate accident suffered in the home environment, had left Barbara with bilateral calcaneus heel fractures. Basically she broke both her heels in layman’s terms. The timing of this injuries couldn’t have come at a worse time. More than three quarters of the way through the 2010 season, and ready to depart for Switzerland, this incident brought about close to any and all hopes of continuing on not only for the rest of the season, but perhaps any further and future athletic participation in general. Thing’s were not sounding good amongst the xterra community, as word spread regarding medical opinions that hopes of returning to any form of strenuous sporting activity, most likely would not happen due to the injuries suffered. Truly a crushing blow felt by many.

Thank goodness that deep inside every single xterra athlete, you’ll find the underlying belief and overall determination, to never give up. Never! Despite all the obstacles faced, no matter how big or how small, one never gives up. That’s what makes them all so special!

I thought to myself as I sat back and watched Barbara bask in this newly experienced and crowning personal moment, how this specific one, world championship title number # 6, had to be the most prized one of them all. I thought about how against medical belief, and insurmountable odds, how one special individual would defy all likelihood. Maybe it was just me surmising what you had gone through, maybe it was me realizing entirely the path you must have traveled not only physically, but emotionally as well in getting to this point. I was a mixture of many emotions myself as I stood up in the back of the room, cheering the loudest for you above any other competitor that night. I was so proud of you.

Savor this victory my good friend. Never forget what it took you to get back to this point, never forget how inspirational your grit and determination is to countless others, let alone myself. Build upon this and there is nothing that won’t be within your reach.

~ I’d like to thank the ever-so amazing, and Mr. wonderful himself, Trey Garman, from xterra, for the usage of photos. Thank’s dude!

Posted by
RICHARD COSTELLO
on 11/06/2011

But life can change in seconds. Lightning strikes, you win the lottery, you fall in love. It happened one afternoon in my kitchen – nothing X-rated (unless you count the initial) – just a lively conversation with my sister that led to an unexpected tingling sensation, a mounting curiosity, and an overwhelming desire as she described a new triathlon called XTERRA. Knowing my passion for mountain biking, and our mutual love of athletic challenge, she felt it would be perfect for me. This sister, my identical twin, is an endurance athlete known for her Ironman triathlon conquests and long-distance running. She assured me that this off-road triathlon would be doable; it attracts only those who swim open water, ride extreme terrain, and run trails and soft sandy beaches.

Much as I might have told myself that motherhood was all I wanted, I never stopped being a romantic adventurer, someone to whom passion is as important as water, air, or food. I am a student of self-discovery, an advocate of learning from nature, a zealot for the active life. I tell my daughters and others, “Find your passion, and take the first step!” Listening to my sister, my breathing accelerated, my heart rate doubled, my inner world began to spin with primal desire to take the first step toward this wild sport. I lusted for details, I wanted to see it, hear it, taste it, smell it! I needed dates, locations, photos. I burned to try it as soon as possible.

I plunged into the physical, training for hours, days and weeks to prepare for my first attempt at this exotic challenge. My husband and daughters, our extended family and friends, our dog, the neighbors, the mailman and UPS driver, even the teachers at school watched in fascination as I fell madly in love with XTERRA. Everywhere, I found new energy to push myself athletically without losing an ounce of momentum for family or work. I rose at five each morning to swim, and returned punctually at seven for an equally important commitment: serving breakfast, lunch production, the kiss-my-husband-goodbye-before-work, and the carpool to school. At noon, I tore out of my office to run as far as I could within the bounds of a one-hour lunch break. I repeated the magic words “whatever it takes” to keep myself up to this irresistible quest that now lived inside me, alongside my intense love for family.

My husband showed signs of frustration with my divided attention, yet he was busy running his company, pursuing his own love of cycling and skiing, and finding quality time for his attentive daughters, whose new interest in ‘dad’ had ballooned.

The process of getting into shape had little to do with romance, or bliss, or glamour. Rather it was bumpy and rugged, possibly more than the upcoming event. Yet I couldn’t get enough. Distance trail running prompted stomach cramps while my legs delighted in the exploration of extreme terrain. Steep climbs and long descents on the mountain bike caused hip, back and neck pain but I cherished the natural scenery and overwhelming feeling of exhilaration. Open water swimming invigorated me deeply, regardless of the choking sensation from the tight-fitting wetsuit.

Moms are experts at perseverance, endurance, and manifesting positive energy in all conditions. My daughters liked my highs after long workouts. My husband admired my directed ambition, and out of it he found a new passion – surfing the Internet just to study XTERRA course maps around the world. With only a week to go, he excitedly announced that this local course appeared to be the toughest of all.

On race day, I gave myself fully to the 1.5 kilometer frigid swim in the Pacific Ocean, the 35k mountain bike course through redwood groves and steep coastal terrain, and the final 12k beach run to the finish line. I finished in second place for Masters women, well-cheered and greeted by my family, my best friend (who traveled from New York City to San Francisco for the occasion), and others in the crowd. I was proud on the podium, and fortified by the complex challenge and the feeling of accomplishment.

As I stepped down, an official extended a firm handshake and an orange slip of paper. Back at the car, we all stared into my hands. I was holding an invitation to the World Championships in Maui! But I felt complete. It was time to turn my attention back home.

A friend knocked on our front door a week later. A race car driver, he gave me the requisite high-five and tight hug of congratulations, then looked at me straight in the eye, his face a little too close to mine. He had come with a purpose: “If I have to take you by the hand and escort you to the plane, you are going to Maui!” And so the journey continued. I was further seduced, slightly fearful of where this love affair was going, yet excited by the positive momentum of life’s expansiveness.

My husband and I packed bikes and bags and boarded an island-bound flight for our first world-class excursion. We joined hundreds of ultra-fit competitors and an equal number of spectators from around the world. We met celebrity athletes in droves, and together we listened to race reports on tides, sharks, heat, and hydration. My heart pounded uncontrollably, all beneath Haleakala, the island’s sacred mountain that in just three days would test everyone’s superhuman power. Extreme stamina was at the core of this sport, what related all of us to this scene, and what connected the dots in my new life.

Maui far exceeded our expectations. I made it to the podium again, and as might be expected, I was even more in love with this sport. My thoughts both day and night shifted between the technical elements of a mountain bike course and ocean swimming, and my daughters’ worlds of school, horses, gymnastics, and skiing. Blood and oxygen now flowed rapidly throughout my lean body, life had all new forces.

For the next several years, I traveled the world solo, often waiting outside our house in the dark for my 3:00 a.m. shuttle to an international flight. The drivers came to know the petite woman from Berkeley, with her heavy bags and large bike box, heading resolutely overseas. My independence and courage surprised me. I’ve been told love transcends fear.

The Chinese philosopher Lau-Tzu said it best: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” That first step in my kitchen led me to ten years of XTERRA, riding a wave of fire and passion throughout my forties and fifties. Training and competition took me to multiple U.S., European, and World champion titles, ambassador status, a leadership role in environmental activism, and sponsorships with the world’s top sport, health, and wellness companies. I was crowned Ms. XTERRA one year, and soon after, in a leading sports magazine, I saw my name next to the words “Mother of XTERRA.” By now, I was thriving less on “the good life” and more on being good in life.

Our family grew very close over these years, in healthy and positive ways. My daughters understood my passionate ways and never doubted my love for them. They assured me no one starved during my lengthy absences, or suffocated from over-zealous kveling! We found health, balance, and oneness in our shared love of sport and respect for hard work.

I watched my husband’s energy rise higher than ever before, from the rewards of pro-active giving and living. He intensified his cycling routine during his lunch hour to be energized for everything and everyone in his life. At night, he cooked dinner for us, and afterwards went straight to the garage to tune skis for our daughters, who had developed into serious ski racers. I fell even more in love with him throughout this time, a champion of patience, unconditional acceptance, and family devotion. And I don’t believe it’s a coincidence that today each of our daughters is a champion athlete: the older is a collegiate all-American skier, and the other is the youngest member of the U.S. Ski Team. Passion and love are infectious!

But another of those instantaneous life changes was in store. Attempting to get one last item from high in my closet the night before leaving to compete in Europe, I lost my footing and fell, breaking both heels. I never made it out the front door to catch the shuttle, or to the XTERRA start line which was by now metaphoric for my winning path in life.

Immediately, I knew the universe had other plans for me, and that it was time to transition – not from swimming to biking, or biking to running – but to a whole other world beyond sport. Limited to kneepads and a wheelchair, I found myself reviewing the qualities I most admired about motherhood for inspiration and motivation. I stayed positive, and adopted a simple but powerful mantra, “yes I can,” and felt something happen, another new step.

Training the body trains the mind, a powerful process that reinforces focus, strength, and stamina for all aspects of life. Someday, I will return to swim-bike-run, but for now walking is winning. Each new step illuminates uncharted terrain with extraordinary possibilities, and invitations for my kind of compassion, and extreme endurance. My family leaned in close to me at the dinner table when I recently announced there’s another title I desire: “It’s time I become a human champion – are you guys ready to coach me?” Each smiled from ear to ear while my youngest daughter put her arm around me, offering the sweetest words of encouragement: “Mom, we know you can do it, and we know you’ll do whatever it takes to energize a better world!”

The crow would have to fly close to 3,000 miles to cover the distance between Whiskeytown, California and Wailea, Hawaii. For me, this vast and wonderful territory of land and sea measures 20 years of a most exciting and rewarding life.

In 1983, I was 27 and lived in a tiny cottage nestled in the redwoods on the flanks of Mt. Tamalpais in Mill Valley, California. It was new territory, and a new chapter in my life.

Today, now 47, I live across the San Francisco Bay in Berkeley. I’m married with two beautiful daughters, ages 14 and 9. I have a master’s degree in psychology. I’m a published author and an accomplished athlete.

What happened in between? Mountain biking!

Squeezed in between the basics of sleeping, eating, breathing, a special boyfriend named Joe Breeze, and studying for that master’s degree, my life welcomed mountain bikes and found them to be a fun and challenging source of socializing and exercise. The bikes and friends also led to racing, which then led to a deepening commitment to bicycle advocacy and lobbying for multi-use land access. All of this coalesced into founding the National Off-Road Bicycle Association (N.O.R.B.A.).

In short, my late twenties felt like something out of the Wild West. The cowboys were my new Californian friends, an extraordinary group of people, untamed and ingenious, with a passion for life unsurpassed by anyone I else I had ever met. Before my eyes, these new friends reinvented a sport while inventing a whole new lifestyle. Many of their names probably sound familiar to you: Joe Breeze, Charlie Kelly, Gary Fisher, Tom Ritchey, Scot Nicol, Steve Potts, Jacquie Phelan, and Charlie Cunningham.

I watched, listened, learned, and played hard with these people as mountain bike history unfolded in their garages and out on the trails. Breeze made the frames, so did Ritchey. Cunningham provided advice and re-engineered components. Potts painted and learned frame design. Fisher and Kelly began distributing the bikes and birthed Marin Mountain Bikes. Scot Nicol and Otis Guy moonlighted in Breeze’s garage and learned to build frames. Everywhere more bikes were needed. An older guy named Jack Ingram called for a meeting and N.O.R.B.A. was born. Joe Breeze and I soon co-owned the new organization, created the logo, and began traveling to promote the National Off-Road Bicycle Association as the environmental and competition-sanctioning body for mountain bikes.

For me, it was one of those moments where I was in the right place at the right time. By trying to maximize the time I spent with a busy boyfriend, I passed countless hours in Joe Breeze’s garage scraping burrs off stays and forks, cutting open boxes postmarked from Italy, running tubes through the jigsaw, and having dinners where the salad would end up

sprinkled half with parmesan, half with metal shavings. Words will never properly convey what I witnessed during this time, and how much I gained in so many ways. What I can articulate is this: Joe Breeze gave new meaning to dedication, focus, and the pursuit of excellence via a piece of equipment so many of us ride and thrive on today – the mountain bike.

The grandfather mountain bike race of all time was the Whiskeytown Downhill, about 150 miles north of San Francisco. June 4, 1983, found me and all of my new guy pals at the top of the course, checking things out the day before this epic 36-mile test of endurance. At the crest of the course, known as Buckhorn Bailey, we met another competitor with a custom-built bike. While the rider’s shiny black Mikkelsen (Bernie’s first and only mountain bike accomplishment) was being ogled by my friends, the rider, Dick Peterson, hung back and talked to me. I didn’t know it then, but mountain bikes had just created another moment that would change my personal history. Four more Whiskeytown Downhills later, Dick and I were married.

The course of my life, from Whiskeytown to Wailea, has been just as exciting and wonderful as the hundreds of bike rides and race courses I have ridden. I have enjoyed watching all of my friends’ successful professional lives (Ritchey Bicycles, Gary Fisher Bikes, Scot Nicol and Ibis, Otis Guy Bikes, Wilderness Trails Bikes, Breezer). My life also continues to be enriched by the mountain bike. The love of riding and competing is now a favorite family pastime. In the last three years, I have immersed myself in mountain bike triathlons. My husband is also very involved. He is my coach, mechanic extraordinaire and major sponsor. Wailea is the home of the XTERRA World Championships and, in 2001 I became the XTERRA World Champion in the 45-49 age-group. That was thrilling! It is more exciting, more meaningful, and more energizing to know that 20 years after that first Whiskeytown Downhill, something as wonderful as a mountain bike has given so much passion, inspiration, and profound positive energy to one person’s life – mine.

Barbara Peterson is an endurance athlete, wife, mother, writer and artist. She is the author of a new books series entitled “The Power of Exercise.” She can be contacted at barbara@thepowerofexercise.com.

When I was fourteen-years-old, in the late 60s, I began to see the world in a different way. I awoke to a world struggling with war and racism, issues of human rights and women’s equality. I wrestled within, somewhat typical turmoil for a teenager. Feeling conflicted and hopeless, I began reading and observing those around me. I discovered I had a choice: either I could be complacent, apathetic and follow an ordinary existence, or I could pursue what really mattered to me and begin to participate in a larger world. I could try to change things I believed were wrong. Speak out for what I believed in. And live with compassion and an open heart. To me the choice was obvious, and as a young teenager, this translated into action. Taking control of my health, working on political campaigns, volunteering at community outreach programs, reading to educate myself. This New York, Jewish girl with braids, freckles and a huge "good girl" smile was transformed from a teenager obsessed with nothing to a teenager all-consumed with being a part of something bigger than myself—something that helped others.

At the same time, I became acutely aware of struggles within my own family. Like most families, mine was just trying to do the best they could, pitfalls and all. However, private pain mounted. My parents were outdoors people. We found refuge in outdoor sport, and during these times we were happy, invigorated, and connected. Skiing. Tennis. Ice Skating. Kayaking and swimming. Hiking. Biking. Exercise was what we did, and it kept us strong. The thrill of diving into a cold lake near our home, the rush of winning a tennis match, skiing a mountain with fresh snowfall. I observed my parents as vibrant, active individuals. My mother was the best mother skier on the mountain; my father was a running and kayaking enthusiast. As a child, nothing made me more proud than to see my parents happy, actively pursuing their own interests, and enjoying the thrill of mastering a new physical skill. These were the happiest moments of my childhood. We were raised to be active in our bodies, and it was nothing short of a lifesaver.

Unwittingly, my identical twin, Jeri, and older sister, Jill—The Edelston girls—were taught to cope with the wrenches that life later threw us by, literally, exercising out our demons—allowing stress, anxiety and other crazy emotions to be released through physical exertion. As my body became active and the endorphins started pumping, the negative feelings dissipated and the positive ones rushed in like a high-speed freight train. As a young woman, I learned about the power of exercise to transform.

I share this to explain where I am now. I still want to make a difference in the world, this time through educating mothers about the power of exercise. I continue to exercise and compete athletically at age forty-six with two daughters of my own. I now see clearly the profoundly positive influence exercise has on me. When I exercise, I am energized, clear thinking, generous in spirit and able to embrace dark situations with dignity. I am also able to be the best person possible—strong mother and wife, compassionate friend and member of the community—and set an example of an active, passionate, genuine person for my girls.

I believe so strongly in the power of exercise to transform our lives that I feel like I’m on my most important mission yet: I want you to exercise because I want you to know your own strength, ability, resourcefulness and beauty. As mothers, if we truly felt our own power, we might just change the world. It’s that simple.

Challenges Unique to Motherhood

Every day, I look at all of the mothers around me, in all walks of life, and one thing is certain: we are all too busy. With the many responsibilities we juggle—life long care providers, household managers, career women and community leaders—life can be intensely complex and depleting. Mothers with infants are easily exhausted, especially with unpredictable and inconsistent schedules. Sleep deprivation is a major drain in conjunction with the extra nurturing expected from other family members. Mothers with older children are even more stretched, helping to meet school, social and extra-curricular demands, with the additional pressure of personal obligations and commitments. Loneliness and depression, anxiety mixed with anger, feelings of inadequacy, and lack of personal fulfillment are typical traps in which us mothers feel stuck without any source of relief.

No matter what our challenge, finding a way to prioritize our own emotional and physical needs is critical. Imagine every day, or every other day, getting exercise. Physically releasing your pent up energy while revitalizing your mind, body and soul. Setting aside one hour a day, one hour you can count on that includes at least 20 minutes of exercise amidst your daily whirl. Maybe the one and only constant of motherhood. Most of us deny ourselves the opportunity to get a breath of fresh air because, heaven forbid, we don’t fold that last bit of laundry or load the dishwasher. Or we turn away from any thoughts of exercise, we are afraid we might fail, forgetting the childlike pleasure of being a beginner again and the feelings of exhilaration around learning something new and using our bodies. I encourage you. Be open. Be good to yourself. Be smart. Live life! A slight change of heart can be a major lift in spirit.

I have had my own serious challenges in life, both as a woman and mother. As a teenager, I battled eating disorders and family alcoholism. When my first child was just an infant, I felt overwhelmed and depressed by the demands of my career and family management. A traumatic fire burned our home and entire neighborhood, and at the same time we lost two best friends, one to cancer and one to a heinous crime. There were times when I could barely move off the bed, but I summoned strength and will, and took myself out for a 20-minute run. With the pure and simple prescription of exercise, I found a way to cope. Each time, where there was conflict, I found resolution. Where there was negativity, I found light; and where there was depression, I found hope and happiness. I was reminded again and again that even though the reality of any situation is never completely erased, exercise brings about a shift in thinking and melts some of the darkness away. Life is half full, not half empty.

Because I have been given the great gift of exercise, I want to share it with the most important people I know. Mothers. There is truly no better formula for increased self-esteem, stress and weight management, higher energy, balance, strength of purpose and realized goals then an exercise routine. Other activities, such as gardening, cooking and reading are deeply satisfying, and my life wouldn’t be the same without these creative and focused hobbies. Exercise is unique, though, because it is the only activity that transcends a low energy state to a high-energy body, mind and spirit. And if you’re like most of the mothers I know, we need this. We need it now.

You Can Do It!

How can we find the time? How do we let go of having a clean house, perfect dinner, or sneak away from our jobs? When my children were young, I found time to exercise by either including the kids or planning ahead for an hour of time, relying on grandparents or trading children with other mothers. When working in the corporate world, I used my lunch hour. I was able to rejuvenate with a long walk, a run or a swim. When the best-laid plans dissolved, the all mighty backup was a perfectly acceptable alternative: a brisk walk with one child in the backpack and the other in the stroller. I rarely lost hope on days when the exercise plan began to disband, putting into practice, "where there’s a will, there’s a way." True to form, there were occasional late afternoons where a few desperate organized at the track and either took turns running or walked laps with strollers.

Now that my girls are older, I make time before they awaken in the morning. Although I’m not a natural early riser, when the alarm rings at 5:30 a.m., I am eager and pop out of bed. It’s one of the rare blocks of time I steal away from my family fulfilling so many personal needs: enjoyment of a quiet first cup of coffee; time to review the day, meditate, reflect and plan; social exchange and collective inspiration in the pool or locker room; time for a hot shower and relaxed application of make-up. The issues around weight management and maintaining a well-toned muscular body are handled by 7:00 a.m. The icing on the cake is the well-earned appetite for breakfast back home together with the family. When I am finished with all of this and feeling absolutely terrific, a voice inside assures me that I "own the key" to a great day!

I know that my will to exercise is strong, and you may be thinking—no way can I ever do what this woman does, wake up at 5:30 am. But think about this: haven’t we woken up all night long for our babies, talked into the night with our husbands and partners, pushed ourselves to the max for sick children, to get dinner on the table, to make sure our kids had their basic needs taken care of and made a work deadline on top of it all? The sad truth is that mothers are experts at denying themselves the opportunity to physically and emotionally rejuvenate. I understand that the commitment to exercise can be almost as challenging as the physical exertion itself. It’s time to change your mind-set—because this is what will make the difference between going or not going, being committed and consistent, or quitting. Your mind set is what will make the difference between surviving and thriving in every other aspect of life.

Carol, my friend who lives and works in New York City, is the perfect example of someone who has little time to exercise but makes it happen during the day. On her way to the office, she begins her day by running the subway stairs and walking 15 blocks from the station to her office. At lunch she uses the time to jump rope for twenty minutes with an additional ten minutes of stretching and yoga breathing. A simple midday meal is ordered before the workout, and delivered in time to eat after a brief clean-up and change, while simultaneously reviewing paperwork. Carol explains, "The intensity of each day is well managed by realizing what my priorities are. When I am not with clients and associates, I take personal breaks that are dedicated to exercise, allowing for physical release and time to think about work and family matters. Jumping rope builds muscle strength and stamina that I need for overall mid-life health, especially at age 48! My kids like a fit mother who plays sports with them on the weekends. I never thought jumping rope would be such a perfect link to peak performance at work and home." By the time she returns home in the evening to her family, it’s dinnertime, and instead of feeling fatigued and stressed, she is highly energized by her day.

So, let me spell it out: You have the power to organize your day to include time to exercise. You deserve time for yourself. You deserve to take care of your body. Prioritizing your health is a beautiful, lifelong gift you can give to yourself, your children and your husband. I implore each reader to take action, to find a regular time each day—whatever it takes—and find an activity that requires physical exertion and do it. Remember, whatever you give to your exercise, you’ll receive back in spades. You can do it!

Use this book to help you say, “Yes!”

I have written this book because I understand how hard it can be to say yes to exercise. Let this book help you put the hesitations and excuses aside and choose time for yourself. We all know mothers are the most clever people in the world. If anyone can figure out how to make something happen—especially if it involves improving life—a mom can. When you can’t imagine how you’ll squeeze one more activity into your day, recall my friend Carol, the mother who jumps rope in her office and runs the subway stairs instead of walking to catch the train on her way to and from work. Or Cathy, the young attorney who rides a stationary bicycle in front of her child’s crib while reviewing legal briefs. Or Jane who drops her toddler off at preschool and drives straight to the gym with her baby before getting on with her household chores and the rest of her day. Here are some suggestions for my favorites times and ways to use this book:

• Before you go to bed, read a few pages so that you will wake up raring to exercise, to walk your kids to school, or to bring your gym clothes to work for a lunch hour workout.

• If you are feeling unmotivated, lethargic or hopeless, let The Power of Exercise lift your spirits and dare you to take charge of your energy level.

• When your guilt threatens to ruin a planned workout, let this book rebut that vicious nagging voice with the positive rewards of exercise—a strong, creative, dynamic woman as mother and wife.

• If you’re stuck at an exercise plateau—you can’t seem to get through the intermediate aerobics class, swim more than 25 laps or run more than 2 miles—establish your can-do attitude, turn to Setting Goals in Section II and continue reading in your spare moments.

• When overcome with feelings of low self-esteem, bad body image and low energy, fight back with The Power of Exercise!

I sometimes hear myself repeat over and over, "40 minutes today for 40 great years tomorrow." What I mean by this mantra is this: forty minutes of focused exercise today is the springboard for everything I am able to accomplish and provide for my life and for my loved ones, today and for the duration of my lifetime. My early morning swim is what gets me through school day traumas with my daughters, relationship challenges, work burnout and waning self-confidence. It is my commitment to exercise that makes my life today, as a mother, and tomorrow, as a grandmother, senior and engaged citizen, rich and grand. Say YES! now.

Selective Excerpts from The Four Phases of Fitness

Section I

Motivation – Mothers Deserve It

Like Atlas, we carry the weight of the world on our backs. Our families depend on our can-do attitude and strength to manage the household and family. Motherhood can be unrelenting and exhausting—and the next minute joyful and invigorating. Now, with most of us working outside of the home, volunteering at schools, or supporting the career of a primary breadwinner, we are depended on more than ever before. All the more reasons why you must take exceptional care of yourself.

Yet taking care of ourselves may be the greatest challenge of motherhood. Not laundry, discipline, or even teenagers compete with our self-sacrifice. Our guilt and "pleaser"-mentality, for better or for worse, prevents us from realizing that we deserve time to take care of our bodies, spirits and minds. More than deserve it, we require it if we want to remain on solid footing as confident, loving mothers. Exercise is the most powerful way I know to help with the two largest challenges of motherhood: stress management and revitalization. There isn’t a person alive who doesn’t feel better from getting out and moving their body!

Love must start from within, and allowing yourself time to exercise is an exercise in self-love. From there, we have boundless love for others. Since you’re reading this book, I imagine that somewhere deep inside, a voice must be crying out, "Go for it! Exercise!" Or maybe you know, without a shadow of doubt, that you owe yourself time—but you just don’t know how to get there. You have now taken the first step. Breathe. Smile. It’s time to take care of you. You deserve it.

"With three children, so much of my day is broken into short time periods. If I exercise early in the morning, my body feels more relaxed, small and large crises are easily overcome, and my mood will be up for the rest of the day. Exercising burns off the tensions that accumulate from doing housework and juggling the lives of three kids and a husband—oh and my life, too! I also know that if I exercise, it guarantees a good night’s sleep. As a mother, there are so many hours spent in the interest of others that I have few qualms about an hour or so for myself. The kids know it’s a way to love myself, and we all benefit. Exercise is a way to bring wholeness to my life. I let very few things get in the way of going running or walking in the mornings, and I have convinced myself NOT to feel guilty."

–Suki, 46, stay-at-home mother of three children

Affirmation

I deserve time to be physically fit. Loving myself and taking care of my body is one of my highest priorities, as a woman and mother. Today I allow myself the time and space to exercise.

The Benefits of Moving Your Body

Unless you have a medical excuse, there is no reason not to exercise. Exercising is like wearing your seatbelt or eating vegetables: it is necessary for a healthy, long life. The benefits of moving your body are so cut and dry, it’s amazing that we think we can afford to ignore them. Exercise is the key for increased self-esteem, stress and weight management, and higher energy. It improves endurance, strength, coordination and general fitness. It elicits a desire to excel in all aspects of life.

It’s always hip to exercise. We see presidents jogging, celebrities spinning, pilates for pregnant women, and kindergarteners practicing yoga. This is no fad, just a national epiphany: exercise is good medicine. Here’s what it does for YOU:

• Brain: Makes your brain more alert, improving mood and creating the endorphins that fight depression.

• Heart: A regular exercise routine increases strength in your heart muscle. This prevents heart attacks or reduces their severity.

• Lungs: Exercise keeps your lungs strong and flexible. Fit individuals 50 to 60 years old can have the same lung capacity they had in their 20’s and 30’s.

• Muscles: Use them or lose them! Loss of muscle strength and endurance is caused by lack of exercise, not necessarily by age.

• Bones: Doing resistive exercise helps prevent osteoporosis, a bone disorder characterized by a reduction in bone density accompanied by an increase in porosity and brittleness, found in women between ages 40 and 70. Weight-bearing exercise increases bone density reducing the chance of breaking hips or a vertebrae.

• Joints: Cycling, swimming, walking, rowing and other smooth motion, low-impact activities are better for arthritic, painful or aging joints than high-impact activities like running.

• Blood: Exercising regularly increases the ability of your red blood cells to move oxygen efficiently throughout your body, therefore sustaining good health.

Understanding Heart Rate

Heart rate is the number of times your heart beats per minute. Familiarizing yourself with your heart rate while exercising is important so you can monitor the stress on your heart. Using this simple tool, you can easily monitor your workouts: If your heart rate is too low, use it as incentive to crank up the workout a few notches; if it’s too fast, you’re pushing it too far, and it may be medically unsafe. When your resting heart rate decreases, you can rejoice in the fact that your overall fitness level is increasing.

Calculating your Heart Rate:

The manual technique is to measure in the midst of a workout. Stop your activity, take your pulse for 15 seconds, count the number of heartbeats and multiply by four. Or, using the high tech approach, wear a heart rate monitor (available at all sports stores). The wrist monitor will let you see instantly if you are in the high or low range. Some exercise machines calculate heart rate when the user makes contact with the equipment, usually found on the handle of a bike, rower or track machine.

How to calculate your Target Heart Zone and Maximum Heart Rate:

Target Heart Zone is the safe range while exercising. To find your target zone, first determine your Maximum Heart Rate. Maximum Heart Rate is the fastest your heart can beat safely. The American College of Sports Medicine defines the Target Zone as 50 to 85 percent of Maximum Heart Rate. The standard formula for calculating Maximum Heart Rate is to subtract your age from 220.

• Maximum Heart Rate = 220 – Age

• Low end of Target Heart Zone = 50% x Maximum Heart Rate

• High end of Target Heart Zone = 85% x Maximum Heart Rate

Example: I am 47 years old. Therefore, my Maximum Heart Rate is 173 b.p.m (beats per minute). (220 – 47 = 173). I exercise with a heart rate monitor to stay in my Target Zone: between 86 and 147 b.p.m.

Affirmation

in every aspects of my life today and tomorrow.

Will

When I was a teen, I battled food. My parents’ divorce was looming, identical twin identity issues grew complicated, my emotions felt out of control. Restricting food was how I attempted to cope with unhappiness. Of course, this backfired. Self-starvation is a sickness, plain and simple. I was ill, getting thinner and thinner by the day, fervently believing that the only power I had in my life was over my weight. My parents, after reading a magazine article, finally were able to put a name to what was happening to their daughter: anorexia. I was sent to mediocre therapists who didn’t know how to treat eating disorders, and my summer and future education plans were put on hold to deal with "my" problem.

During this time, I met a man who was a healer. Immediately, he recognized that I had an iron will, which I was using to the detriment of my health—around food. He swiftly and with great finesse, shifted my thinking, and flipped my will on its backside. He challenged me to summon my will to honor and respect my entire self: I was learning to generate and embrace personal power, a force far greater than my disease. I was a whole person who could choose to be healthy and happy without making herself sick. My teacher, Edward Farmer, helped me see that my will was my greatest ally and healer, and by using mantras and inner commitments I was able to normalize. As I began to recover and started eating a bit more, I felt increased strength. I began running and swimming. My powerful will manifested a new attitude and plan of action. I met a neighborhood friend each afternoon to play tennis. Through the grace of exercise, I felt hope and inspiration.

A mother’s will is a powerful force. We can be fiercely strong when it comes to our children and our families. We are profoundly capable of changing and improving circumstances when a loved one’s welfare is threatened. Today, I want you to connect with your will. I want you to feel your inner power and intelligence. Imagine all of the situations in which you summon your will for others. Now it’s time to harness your will to make decisions, set goals, and take action—for you! Claim your integrity and discipline; you will need these two components of will to reinforce follow through and accomplishment. You have willpower. Use it!

"I used to be willpower-challenged. If there was ice cream or sweets in the house, I devoured it. I couldn’t control myself—or so I thought. I found it especially hard when feeling exhausted; I deserved to eat whatever I wanted when I felt so lousy, right! Classic justification. When my youngest child turned seven, I decided it was high time to lose my—do not laugh—pregnancy weight. But when it came to exercising, I had no discipline. If there was an excuse to be found not to go to the gym, I would find it! But I made the decision that I was going to do it, no matter what the excuse was, even if it meant there would be bread and water for dinner, the house was a mess, and the kids would be bored. Too bad—because all of that stuff will always hold you back if you let it. My will surprised me: the more certain I was that exercising was good for me and my family, the stronger my will became. It grew exponentially. Suddenly, I was also able to say "no!" to eating all the ice cream and cookies. The better I felt through exercise, the more clear I became in all aspects in my life. It has truly changed me—and my family will attest to this."

–Judy, 48, mother of two

Affirmation

My willpower is undeniably strong. Today I will climb every mountain, ford every stream.

But My Family Comes First! (or Throwing Guilt Out the Window)

Mothers are good at guilt. My friend Julie works full-time in advertising, and her guilt is the guiding force in her decision-making process. She doesn’t discipline her children, for fear that their limited time together might be difficult. She constantly buys them clothes and toys they don’t need to make up for business trips and late-night client dinners. She is in a job she loves but her guilt barely allows her to enjoy it. In her free time, the children set the agenda—and, once again because of guilt, she is happy to comply, though exhausted and depleted. She knows exercise would give her a burst of energy and provide strength to "do it all," but her conflicting feelings keep her from taking even half an hour to go for a walk or run out her front door.

Most of us are familiar with these feelings—whether you’re a stay-at-home or work-out-of-the-home mother. We seem to believe that we never are doing enough, we always must do more, clean the house, help with homework, make a more delicious dinner, go to the cleaners, the bank, the gas station… When does it end? It never does. So, throw your guilt out the window. It’s not doing any good. Healthy guilt is one thing: if you forgot to send your kid to school with lunch—oops!—yes, you need to get food to them. Unhealthy guilt is another thing: if you cannot take one hour three times a week for yourself to exercise, because you think your children cannot be without you or you are damaging them by being absent. This is the guilt we can do without.

Let the guilt go. Coming from a place of strength, clarity and peace, that’s how I want to parent. I don’t want to come from a place of guilt—and I don’t want my children thinking that’s my motivation for doing anything. To uphold your health as a worthy priority and to make your body and mind strong through exercise, this is a good mother.

"Like most mothers, I am at the helm of the family. My sons have nicknamed me "the mothership." They realize I am Command Central for socializing, organizing and coordinating activities and transportation that links them to people, places and all activities. In addition to all of the practical responsibilities, I am also the spiritual source of encouragement and reinforcement for our family unit. I know I am not alone. All day, every day, we mothers play an important role in the success of our families. And this is precisely why I am adamant about finding time to exercise, almost every day. If I take time to go to my dance or spin class, I can do anything. When a mother is happy and healthy, a positive tone is established and everything goes smoothly."

–Lynn, age 43, graphic designer, mother of teenagers

Affirmation

my contribution to my family comes from the most loving, connected space.

Section II.

Beginning – Finding the Exercise You Love

I swim, I run, I ride bicycles, I ski, I play tennis, and I do yoga. You won’t find me at spinning classes or aerobics classes. Exercise machines and health clubs never worked for me either. We all have different needs. Over the many years of being committed to a workout routine, I realize that keeping exercise simple and accessible works for me.

If I had to choose only one type of exercise to do for the rest of my life, it would be swimming. The long stretch and smooth movement from head to toe feels fantastic. I love the coolness of the air on my face when I breathe and the changing sensations of air and water on my arms and legs. My time swimming is a sanctuary of aloneness. For minutes on end, I am face down in the water, with only my thoughts and movement. I love the pool environment: the complimentary tea, the lockers, the showers, the hair dryers, my fellow swimmers. I never take for granted the luxury of being able soak in the hot tub before making the plunge. No matter how cold it is outside, how rainy or windy, I soak first and then begin my swim warm, flexible and happy. It all adds up to loving my exercise time.

Finding what you love is so important, so spend some time figuring out the exercise that is right for you. Your considerations are in themselves a great and important adventure!

• What do you look forward to?

• What can you do that is accessible? When you’re beginning, your exercise should be uncomplicated and easy to get to. The best way to sabotage your efforts is when your workout becomes a hassle.

• Is it the music at the movement class, the breathing in yoga, the way your body feels swinging a tennis racket?

• Do you love to sweat, or hate the sweat and need a fan at all times?

• Do you prefer to be alone or with friends?

• Do you have knee injuries and require a low impact activity?

• Is the weather so unpredictable that you need a reliable indoor activity or fitness center?

• If the only means to becoming fit is having a personal coach, hire one.

Never be afraid to switch your workouts if you’re not happy or passion-driven about the experience. If you become bored by the Stairmaster, switch your machine. Try something new yet be realistic in order to find what works and what doesn’t. My friend Patty adores tennis more than any sport but found she rarely played after she had children. She realized tennis took too much time in a mother’s day. She can no longer afford two-hour blocks of time nor does she have the desire to find partners who are dependable, and as eager and high energy as she is for the entire match. She discovered kickboxing. It was quick, forceful, aerobic, a great workout for both arms and legs, efficient (class was 3:00 to 4:00 p.m.) and social. She got it all! Almost. The class is indoors. Let’s face it. Life is full of trade-offs. Kickboxing is ideal for the "mom way of life," and for rainy days. Tennis will always be there. Patty is fit, content and fulfilled.

A good mother friend shared her wise exercise philosophy: "If you look at exercise as a chore you have to do, it will never be a part of your life. When you find a type of exercise you can feel passionate about, it’s like breathing."

It’s a Fact: You might have read about her in the news, but Jennifer Portnick got national attention for being a 240 pound exercise instructor who had to fight Jazzersize Incorporated, because she wasn’t thin enough, just to do what she loved: teach Jazzersize! She won her fight and now inspires women with her energy, enthusiasm and commitment to exercise. She found what she loves, and she’s doing it.

Affirmation

Be aware of your limitations as well as the possibilities; do what feels right for you and your body.

Creating Your Mother Mantras

My friend Karen had a traumatic first birth experience and was about to have her second baby. She had put her anxiety on the back burner until the eighth month, when it hit her that she was terrified. She began going to acupuncture, getting massages, lighting relaxation candles, practicing breathing techniques with her husband, using herbal remedies and homeopathy, whatever it took to create a new and better laboring experience. Two weeks before her due date, lying on her side on a massage table in a candlelit room, music playing and breathing deep, a sentence came to her: I am a strong and powerful woman. Tears began streaming down her face as she realized that, indeed, she was a strong and powerful woman—and she put the phrase on an index card and put it on her bathroom mirror. Weeks later, as she dilated from two to ten centimeters in an intense and mind-blowing two-hour period, her husband repeated, "You are a strong and powerful woman." Each time he uttered these words, Karen told me that she felt waves of calm and was able to tap into her inner strength to make it through another contraction.

Creating mother mantras, whether for birth or exercise, is a tool that we can use when we need a little extra push or clarity of purpose. Because our thoughts and language have a powerful effect on our actions, the use of certain words can influence situations, creating something positive from negative or vice versa. We all try to teach our children to say, "I can!" instead of "I can’t." Now it’s time to model this by using our mother mantras to turn negative moments into brighter possibilities. For example, when I begin one of my Xterra triathlons wearing a full wetsuit in the frigid ocean, I initially feel overwhelmed, nauseous, and depleted from nerves. Immediately, I begin my favorite mantra "I LIKE THIS." My whole energy shifts. I feel stronger and my swimming feels great. As the swim continues, naturally I begin to feel tired. I begin one of my other favorite mantras "YES, I CAN" and as the words resound over and over in my head, I regain focus, strength and happiness. It doesn’t stop here. Over the entire four-hour competition, I repeat a mantra for 98% of the time. One simple little phrase sustains my focus, keeps me going with positive energy, gives me strength to finish and do my best. Mantras are magical!

You can use affirmations and mantras in all aspects of your life. The repetition of simple concepts reinforces intention to accomplish a goal. An effective mantra reaches your core; it transcends tedious thoughts and motivates positive action. Invent your own mantras. Here are some of my favorites:

• I use "I LIKE THIS" when I’m struggling to sit down at my desk chair to work on a writing deadline. "I LIKE THIS" also works really well at the beginning of a workout: after one minute I tend to quietly whine and feel doubt as to how I’ll endure another 5 minutes of running, let alone hang in for 50 more minutes. I say these words and immediately there is a dramatic difference in spirit and motivation.

• "YES I CAN" is the most powerful mantra that I know for successful performance while exercising. These three words heighten mental strength and physical power every step of the way.

• As corny as it sounds, I use "FAMILY LOVE" when I’m driving around in the car doing errands, and I even use it when I’m carpooling in the afternoons and I begin to feel drained by stopping and starting at the endless stop lights. The experience changes from one of drudgery to one of a loving mission.

• "GOTTA RUN " is active, clear and focused. In its simplicity, it speaks of friendly confidence and effectively tells others (and yourself) it’s time to go — go running! Try it! It is an uncomplicated way to transition, inwardly and outwardly, in a positive and energetic way.

• "JUST THE PEARL" is a motivational mantra that affects me positively within seconds. The pearl, a rare and beautiful gift of the sea, is analogous to the extraordinary wisdom and beauty I feel within as a result of exercise in my life. When I feel exhaustion, and unmotivated to workout, I say this wonderful mantra. Pressures from the day melt away and waves of vitality refuel me.

• As soon as I hear myself say the words, "NO RIF-RAF," I regain mindfulness, re-energize my focus and rid my head of the intrusive distractions that drain me of focus and energy. "NO RIF RAF" means no nonsense – eliminate interference, go straight to the target. This mantra is friendly but firm. It wakes me up; it does the trick when I begin procrastinating with putting away a mountain of laundry, going running at 5:00 p.m. and I’m tired, or sitting down to work at my desk. This mantra quickly repositions my thoughts, clears away the garbage, puts me on track without complications or distractions.

• "FINISH STRONG" is great when you’re half-way or three quarters of the way in your exercise and you begin to fade. It’s a way of saying – make every step count to the bitter end! For matters in everyday life, it’s a great way to remind yourself to: never give up and never quit. Finish every pursuit with a healthy heart, straight and powerful back, positive mind.

• "ROCKET FUEL" is the most powerful of my mantras and I realize not every mother welcomes a boost at this level. When I’m training and I’m tired (a very human phenomenon, especially for mothers) this mantra takes me high. My bloodstream is oxygenated! My muscles feel on fire and my movements are strong. Two words. Very magical energy.

Affirmation

Affirmations and mantras give me strength to reach my goals and do my best.

Section III.

Commitment – Setting Goals

Whenever I do coaching or personal training with clients or friends, my first question is: What is your goal? Is it to run a 7K, lose 10 pounds, or keep up with your 7-year-old on the soccer field? I have discovered in almost every aspect of life, without a goal, there is little chance of reaching the desired objective. My friend Katie set a goal to compete in her first triathlon. She is an excellent swimmer—she swam in high school and keeps up with it now as much as possible—but she had never run and only did recreational cycling. She also wanted to lose some weight and reclaim her body after years juggling two kids, a family and an office job. She signed up for a local triathlon with short distances she knew she had a chance at completing. She trained for four months and she did it! The accomplishment of her goal, sandwiched between the demands of her life, was more rewarding than she imagined. She walked with renewed purpose in her step and a greater sense of her own power.

It is sometimes easier for people to work towards an objective, whether it’s 3 miles around the track, 50 laps in the pool or a competition sometime in the future. What I observe time after time is that the process of working towards the goal—establishing a routine, gaining strength and sharpening your mental focus—is far more valuable than reaching the actual goal. But without the goal, the focus and stamina built from determination and commitment are diminished. When you have the capacity to follow-through to completion, you have what it takes to be successful in everything else. Reaching the goal is the icing on the cake.

I think this, more than any of the other positive side effects of committed exercise, keeps me at it day after day. If I set out to ride an extra long bike ride, it is wonderful to reach my goal, but if I can’t get that far because of a head wind or it begins to rain, I know I will another day. I am fueled more from intention than I am from actually reaching the goal. When I swim first thing in the morning, I aim for 3,000 yards. When I reach the wall after the last lap, I am overflowing with enthusiasm. Most mornings I swim the full 3,000 yards. Many mornings I simply don’t have the proper amount of time to squeeze it in. Regardless, the feeling of accomplishment every morning I make it to the pool fuels every cell of my body with positive energy to continue to accomplish the other things in my life like folding laundry, making dinner and reinforcing my children upon their return from school.

Setting Fitness Goals

Setting goals in the fitness world keeps motivation alive. A consistent, enjoyable and effective exercise routine requires an organized plan of action, taking responsibility to do what is necessary to succeed (nutrition, sleep, proper training), passion behind the movement, and a goal. If you want it, it’s yours!

Step 1: State your "commitment to exercise" and identify what motivates you.

Make a promise to exercise regularly and why you want this. To lose weight? To meditate? To make friends? To have more energy? To improve sleep? Write down your commitment and post where you can see it daily. Example: "I am free to swim for one hour everyday for purposes of physical fitness, meditation and stress management." Remember, your exercise must be passion-driven in order to provide you with powerful motivation—so revise when necessary.

Steps 2: What, When, How, Where

• What are you going to do for your workout?

• When are you going to workout?

• How are you going to make this happen? (Schedule babysitting, set the alarm clock earlier, pack your workout clothes the night before, say "no" to less important obligations)

• Where will you go to exercise? (The YMCA? High School track? Your basement? Fitness Club?)

Step 3: Define any obstacles and eliminate the barriers

If you are injured, address the problem by seeing a doctor, getting a massage, figuring out another way to move your body. If you have no time, find another activity in the day that can be replaced by a workout. If you need a babysitter, hire one, or trade time with another mother—or your husband. Make your action list and take action. Nike says Just Do It! I say, "Just Show Up – Then Go!"

Affirmation

I walk the walk. My life is rich with ambition and strength, power and confidence.

Asking for Family Support

Exercise is one of the ingredients for good living. As a family, we honor exercise as one of our most important values. When my husband, Dick, calls me in the late afternoon from work to check in and to ask if I’d mind if he takes off soon after returning home for a bike ride (this means miss dinner or have us wait until 7:45), I always say "Go for it!" I support his need for a physical release after a long day at work, and if it’s inconvenient or conflicts with something I’ve planned, I go out of my way to rearrange the schedule or situation, if possible. Supporting my husband is paramount, because I know that one simple hour on the bike will be transformational for him.

By the same token, when I awaken very early in the morning to workout before the day begins, he supports me: he wakes up our daughters, and he helps them with breakfast if I haven’t returned home from my swim. We respect each other’s need for exercise and negotiate the time by sharing parenting and household duties. Above and beyond the exercise, we support each other in getting what we need out of each and every day. Sometimes it’s the workout, sometimes it’s another kind of time out—a night out with friends, time alone to go to a book store, lecture or social event, time to sit at a neglected desk overflowing with bills, newspapers, etc. In my marriage, our mutual and respectful support of our individual needs is our show of love.

Getting support from my kids isn’t difficult. When I’m crystal clear about doing something, either taking time for exercise, or attending an art class or taking one hour to work on my writing or personal business that isn’t during work hours, there are rarely challenges to my request. I explain what I’m doing in clear language, and I go. If I need a babysitter, I arrange for it. When my daughters were very young, I discussed with them that everyday, I would need one hour to exercise, and that they could expect this for many years. I shared with them and provided examples of why getting exercise was so important to me. My daughters have grown up knowing the principles in this book—and they love that their mother has a full and active life. They have also embraced physical activity and love bike-riding, skiing, gymnastics and team sports. And now I am able to support them in their athletic endeavors.

So ask yourself today: what is it you need from your family and how can they support you. Perhaps it is words of encouragement and motivation, not just the approval of time. Build a life around you that supports personal and family time—and respects each family member’s unique needs. Ask for what you need today.

Affirmation

My family has the strength and ability to support these pursuits.

Getting Through Rough Spots

Today I ran into a woman, Heather, a new friend from the Club where I swim. The last time I saw her she was nine months pregnant, busting out of her bathing suit. I saw her across the pool with a tiny baby in her arms, and I ran toward her all smiles and congratulations. "How did it go?" I asked. "The labor was fine. But she’s not. She has Down Syndrome." Her lips quivered and tears began streaming down her face. A medical slip; an unexpected tragedy. My heart broke into 100 tiny pieces for her, and I wanted to envelop her with love and strength. Life has a way of opening your heart wide in some of the most painful, blessed ways.

Mothering is always challenging, and life is unpredictable. Both magical and tearful moments are often waiting unforeseen around the corner. In my life it might be the unexpected win in a race or my daughter’s broken wrist from a fall off the balance beam. Sometimes, bigger things happen beyond our control, like with Heather. Both big and small events can be made manageable by having an exercise routine, helping you to stay grounded and strong. As Heather said, when I asked her how I could help: "You can meet me at the gym for workouts. I need them now more than ever." Mothers are brave beyond words.

Devereaux, a working mother of two children, explains "I was devastated when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. When I completed treatment and moved into a post -surgery/post-treatment life, the realization of how important it was to feel comfortable with my body became clear. I made a commitment to exercise as a way of not only gaining control over my body, but as a way of processing and creating some mental clarity through the difficult cancer experience. Exercise has now become a critical part of my life. I squeeze time in every day for workouts of all kinds, from swimming to weight lifting to cycling. This time for myself really clears the way for me to be the best person I can be for my family and helps me have faith in my body, strength and spirit."

"I am a seamstress and a single mother. I have been able to make ends meet financially, but it hasn’t always been easy. My husband died when our son and daughter were 3 and 5 years old. At that time I didn’t work as hard. I did my sewing for a few customers and looked after my babies. I have always exercised. Being outdoors and physically active is something I grew up with in Sweden. Although we live in a large city now, I still prefer to exercise outside. I play tennis and walk. Getting out twice a day allows me to sew for longer periods of time and therefore keep my business successful. The tennis consists of hitting balls against a backboard at a park nearby. When I feel I need a break from sewing or household duties, usually around 10:30 a.m., I just walk out the door with my tennis racquet and balls. When the children were babies, they watched and ate their crackers while I ran around chasing the ball for 20 minutes. It worked well. Keeping up with my exercise has been the secret to my emotional survival and stamina.

- Karin (37), Seamstress

My heart is love. My body is strong. My spirit is courageous. I can make it.

Section IV.

Exhilaration – Eating

"Food…can look beautiful, taste exquisite, smell wonderful, make people feel good, bring them together, inspire romantic feelings…. At its most basic, it is fuel for a hungry machine."

- Rosamond Richardson, English cookery author

Hunger is the great reward of working out. Few things are more pleasurable than feeling ravenous after a hearty workout—and feeding this hunger can be heavenly. Whether you love rib-eye steak and salad, salmon tartar, or a perfect Georgia peach, food is more than mere sustenance. It can be sensual and divine. Exercising creates awareness of our bodies, and this new awareness magnifies our enjoyment of eating—additionally, we hope, helping rid us of our psychological baggage and toxic guilt around food.

We are sometimes motivated to eat for reasons other than hunger. Can any one of us who has gone through a pint of Haagen-Dazs after a relationship breakup deny this? I cannot, nor am I willing to, forego the feel-good comfort I get from chocolate. Every morning between 9:30 and 10:00, I pull four healthy hunks of frozen dough out of the freezer, placing them like the Crown Jewels onto the cookie sheet for baking. Many people know of this ritual of mine, but what they don’t know is how important it is to me. Out of the oven, I enjoy warm, soft cookies, along with my coffee. This is indeed one of my treasured moments in eating. I am now ready for the day’s tasks.

"Enchant, stay beautiful and graceful, but do this, eat well. Bring the same consideration to the preparation of your food as you devote to your appearance. Let your dinner be a poem, like your dress."

-Charles Pierre Monselet, French author (1825-1888) Letters to Emily

Many of us feel guilt around food, myself included. I’ve worked hard over the years, especially in my teens and twenties, to let go of my emotional clutter around food. I see a friend exist on salad alone, or trim the smallest bit of fat off of a piece of ham or turkey and I feel sad. We shouldn’t fear food; we should embrace it, allowing ourselves the pleasures of eating and employing moderation when necessary. Today, enjoy the texture of the food you are eating. Notice its appearance. Pay close attention to the smells and flavors. Appreciate where the food came from. Say grace and give thanks for the delight of eating, the food so abundant, and the people and love in your life.

Affirmation

feeling hungry, eating, and the spiritual nourishment which food brings to my life.

Sheer Pleasure

Wind on your face, coolness on your forearms, strong legs pedaling down the last hill at the end of a bike ride. One uphill sprint and you’re done. Sweat dripping down your temples. Diaphragm muscles rise and fall and a sweet grin is born. Diving into the pool, the tranquility and purity of the water enveloping your body. Dancing to the music, the rhythm of your heart rate outpacing the beat. Feeling alive in your body, from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. This is the sheer pleasure of living that exercise ushers into our lives. We stand up straighter, head high. We touch our loved ones with compassionate strength. We breathe more deeply, we laugh louder.

There are many payoffs of active living, and the pleasure aspect is one of the most magnificent. When we are active in our bodies, we are more engaged in life. Jill, a 60-year-old office administrator and mother of two adult children, says, "I feel so alive when I walk early in the morning before work. On a beautiful sunny day, I marvel at the blue sky and vibrancy of the world around me. When it’s cold, I walk briskly and love waking up with the birds—bundled up in a scarf and hat. My workday is long, but this 30-minute walk keeps my back from hurting as I sit at my desk and keeps me from sugar binging in the afternoons (usually!). My walk is often the difference between a day filled with energy and enthusiasm and a day that I can barely get through."

As Saraha, a Buddhist teacher, elegantly puts it: "Here in this body are the sacred rivers: here are the sun and moon, as well as all the pilgrimage places. I have not encountered another temple as blissful as my own body."

The Active Family Vacation

No doubt, sitting by a pool reading a great book is an excellent and luxurious way to spend a vacation. But one of the joys of regular exercise is being able to push your body even on vacation. Why not be physical while you’re away, especially if it heightens your senses and deepens your relaxation? Vacations that entail feats of physical activity are no longer daunting but wonderful opportunities that bring you closer to nature and closer to your physical limits. When we travel to Kauai for our main family vacation, it is paradise because of the tropical environment and because there is a plenty of time to indulge in physical activity. For each of us, it is truly paradise: long barefoot runs on the beach, hours of recovery reading and catnapping, hours of building sandcastles, and catching the frisbee, body surfing and adventurous cross-bay swims. Weather permitting, we capture any chance to hike the Nepali Coastline, the most breathtaking scenery in the world. For two adults and two children, our days in Hanalei are euphoric and when we return home, we’re rejuvenated and filled to the brim with accomplishments that carry into our regular life. Last weekend my friend drove three hours with her four-year-old son to go sea kayaking on the Mendocino Coast in California. They had studied sea creatures in books, and wanted to experience sea lions, seals, starfish and the roll of the waves first-hand. A forty dollar rental fee and a day of paddling delivered a beautiful mother/son experience and unforgettable education in sea life. Growing up, my sisters and I spent school vacations and summer breaks outdoors experiencing nature and the capabilities of our bodies. It was the glue that kept our family together, and it is similar experiences I now cherish with my own family. When school vacations allow for long weekends or 10-day retreats, there is no hesitation in any family member’s mind: we plan for ACTIVE. Here are ideas to help you design your own active family vacation:

• Ocean trips highlighted by swimming, riding waves, snorkeling, building sand castles and trying new board sports

• Camping with day hikes, morning dips in glacial lakes after kayaking excursions

• Cycling excursions, local and beyond (discover the Allycat for riding tandem with kids!)

• Local trips to a park or nearby lake

• Family Dude Ranch

• Snow trips for skiing, sledding, ice skating or snow shoe hikes

• Golf, tennis, swimming, running, sailing, rock climbing, in-line skating, or mountain biking from a "base camp" of your choice

• Human-powered city tours or urban walking adventures and explorations including museums, parks, historical landmarks, and restaurants

• Travel to a competitive event such as a triathlon or marathon

• Supporting a cause by riding a bike 600 miles, walking for 3 days or peace marching for 12 hours gives new meaning to "politically active". Try a purposeful family outing at a walk-a-thon, bike-a-thon, peace march.

Affirmation

and the passion of children, birds, eating, love.

Sex

If you are as busy as some mothers, or you have small children, you might not recognize the word, "sex." It might feel like an abstract concept, something you once participated in with your paramour, and in fact, landed you in your current role as mother.

Never fear: you can once again (or for the first time in your life!) feel attractive, sexy, and in your body. "I look in the mirror and see a frumpy, exhausted, pale, shell of my old self, wearing drab clothing in larger-sizes than I even knew existed," explains a friend with school-aged children, "Where is that person I used to be?" At points in motherhood, it does seem that our old self is lost. The most powerful way I know to reclaim that person—and merge it with your new wonderful mother-self—is to begin to exercise and move your body. Not only does it help you begin to get your body back and feel physically active, it gives you emotional strength, energy and confidence. Qualities that will help you take exuberant steps back into the bedroom.

"When I’m in the best shape my body can be, I feel more feminine and much sexier. Before I discovered running and soccer, I spent much of my time in bed with my husband trying to cover myself, my flabby stomach, droopy boobs, stretch marks…all those lovely things that are the marks of giving birth. I was so self-conscious that I couldn’t get into making love—and would sabotage it with my insecurities half the time. Feeling good about my body (and loving the miracle it has performed by giving us healthy children) helps our sex life and for that matter, our whole relationship. I am a happier person day in and day out when I exercise. I feel like a sexual being, a strong woman, a sexy wife and mother. The amazing thing is that my husband loves my attitude and confidence more than anything. If I believe and know that I’m sexy, he thinks that’s the sexiest thing in the world. Especially my stretch marks!"

-Jane (44), Property Manager

Besides exercising, you can begin to put the pieces of your sexuality back into place by being intentional about your sex life. Make a date with yourself and your bathtub, lighting candles, aromatherapy bubble bath, and your favorite romantic book. Lock the door. Use oils afterwards and enjoy the sensuality of your own body. Make a weekly date with your husband. In the bedroom! Banish the television, get the children to bed on time, and yourself to bed early. The messy house will always be there. It’s your passion and your marriage that needs a turn now. And remember, you are as sexy as you think you are. So know that you are an exquisitely beautiful woman.

Affirmation